Another Ending to the Story
I usually try to keep it pretty upbeat and future-focused here on the blog, but a story in today's Calgary Herald got me thinking about the past.
In thinking about my background, I have usually tried to steer my thoughts away from alternative endings, from what might have happened if I hadn't run away from the trailer. But sometimes I've wondered. If I hadn't run away, if the courts and police hadn't helped remove my little brother--what would have happened to us out there in the woods of West Virginia? Our mother wasn't defending us, and our stepfather's rage-fueled acts of violence, even towards her, were becoming more frequent and more intense. The Witnesses knew and took no action; the teachers at my brother's school knew (they knew he was being neglected, at least, if not physically abused) and took no action. How would the story have ended? An imaginative person, I have sometimes had the bleak vision of three graves, covered with leaves, out by the creek. Uninvestigated. While our stepfather took off for parts unknown, to start again with a new single mother and her children, which was his M.O.
And then I tell myself to buck up and quit the brooding.
So I was interested and saddened to read about this case, in which a Jehovah's Witness triple-murderer came up recently for parole. He had killed his Jehovah's Witness wife and her young son and daughter in 1985, not long after I ran away from my mother and stepfather in 1982. He has only just recently confessed that he had "repeatedly sexually assaulted the two children prior to killing them."
It's a case I had never heard about until today, but there are a number of other parallels to our own situation, including the fact that the culprit stalked the woman when she left him and that Jehovah's Witnesses authority figures told the wife that she was "'scripturally obligated' to take him back."
I'm just thinking about the two eight-year-olds, Lindsay and Juri Kostelniuk, shot to death after being repeatedly sexually abused, and their mother, Kim, shot point-blank in the face. And the children's real father, James Kostelniuk, who still grieves, and who testified at the parole hearing. My heart goes out to them.
In thinking about my background, I have usually tried to steer my thoughts away from alternative endings, from what might have happened if I hadn't run away from the trailer. But sometimes I've wondered. If I hadn't run away, if the courts and police hadn't helped remove my little brother--what would have happened to us out there in the woods of West Virginia? Our mother wasn't defending us, and our stepfather's rage-fueled acts of violence, even towards her, were becoming more frequent and more intense. The Witnesses knew and took no action; the teachers at my brother's school knew (they knew he was being neglected, at least, if not physically abused) and took no action. How would the story have ended? An imaginative person, I have sometimes had the bleak vision of three graves, covered with leaves, out by the creek. Uninvestigated. While our stepfather took off for parts unknown, to start again with a new single mother and her children, which was his M.O.
And then I tell myself to buck up and quit the brooding.
So I was interested and saddened to read about this case, in which a Jehovah's Witness triple-murderer came up recently for parole. He had killed his Jehovah's Witness wife and her young son and daughter in 1985, not long after I ran away from my mother and stepfather in 1982. He has only just recently confessed that he had "repeatedly sexually assaulted the two children prior to killing them."
It's a case I had never heard about until today, but there are a number of other parallels to our own situation, including the fact that the culprit stalked the woman when she left him and that Jehovah's Witnesses authority figures told the wife that she was "'scripturally obligated' to take him back."
I'm just thinking about the two eight-year-olds, Lindsay and Juri Kostelniuk, shot to death after being repeatedly sexually abused, and their mother, Kim, shot point-blank in the face. And the children's real father, James Kostelniuk, who still grieves, and who testified at the parole hearing. My heart goes out to them.
fayepoet said:
And my heart goes out to you and your soulful ability to look into the heart of the devil even at the peril of the unimaginable. You have such ability to bring us to the edge, to look evil straight in the eye,to bear witness and to encourage the boldness to speak out. Thank goodness, you gathered your courage and ran.
February 27, 2009 12:03 AMDelia said:
I've been reading your memoir for the last few weeks and have been so moved. Reading your latest post made me shudder and then some. Because of my own experience growing up--though none as traumatic--I have such deep empathy for other children who've been abused, be it emotionally or physically. I've been chronicling my own at http://girlssentaway.com.
February 27, 2009 1:47 AM